miercuri, 25 noiembrie 2009

Daca iti iei o slujba in Romania...

F YOU GET A JOB IN ROMANIA (by Despina Camino)

1.. Words like futui, in pula mea, pula and other such expressions will not be tolerated or used for emphasis or dramatic effect, no matter how heated a discussion may become.
2.. You will not say si-a bagat pula when someone makes a mistake, or s-a cacat pe el if you see someone being reprehended, or baga-mi-as when a major mistake
has been made. All forms and derivations of the verb a se caca and a se fute are utterly inappropriate and unacceptable in our environment.
3.. No project manager, section head or administrator under any circumstances will be referred to as pula de om, cacanaru' or boul.
4.. Lack of determination will not be referred to as pularau nor will persons who lack initiative be referred to as muiangiu.
5.. Unusual or creative ideas offered by management are not to be referred to as porcarii.
6.. Do not say futu-ti mata if somebody is persistent; do not add pula mea, if a colleague is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say am pus-o (refer to item 2) nor o sa ne-o traga when a matter becomes excessively complicated.
7.. When asking someone to leave you alone, you must not say du-te-n pula mea or should you ever substitute "May I help you?" with, ce pula mea vrei?.
8.. Under no circumstances should you ever call your elderly industrial partners bosorogi imputiti.
9.. Do not say ia mai mereti-n pula cu cacatu asta when a relevant project is presented to you, nor should you ever answer futu-te-n cur when your assistance is required.
10.. You should never call partner representatives as boul dracului or tampitu ala.
11.. The sexual behavior of our staff is not to be discussed in terms such as pizdulica buna, futaciosu or homalau lu peste.
12.. Last but not least, after reading this note, please do not say ma sterg la cur cu textul asta. Just keep it clean and dispose of it properly!!!
Good luck!

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